If 28 showed you a portrait of who I was…

If 29 was ripe with possibility…

If 30 was for being a better me…

then turning 31 is learning the balance between being selfless and selfish.

It’s my birthday and all I can think about is how this day is not about me.

I woke up in the morning and went to Wolverine’s fall ball game. I spent the day breastfeeding and taking care of a brand new baby. In the afternoon we did a fantasy football draft. Dinner was fun. We actually made it out to a restaurant, and the baby was kind enough to sleep through the dinner so I could eat. That was, however, short lived, as I spent the majority of the evening just trying to get her to sleep and listening to her scream and cry. For a year or two before the baby, Mr. O, Wolverine and I spent our Saturday evenings having a family movie night. We took turns choosing the movies, and we always had some special treat to eat. Well, Mr. O and Wolverine were able to watch the movie together. They got to eat a snack. And when I could finally get the baby to sleep, both of the boys were asleep, and I was alone on my birthday.

Honestly, I mostly didn’t care. I love fall ball. It was fun to do our first family football draft (even though I don’t really watch or know much about football). I was happy that the boys enjoyed themselves. Most of all, I was so pleased to have a baby to feed and calm and snuggle, even if she was crying.

That doesn’t mean I didn’t feel a bit alone at the end of the evening.

So I did the what I thought was best. I grabbed an ice cream cone and a candle, and I made a wish enjoyed my treat in my living room before I went to bed.

So I guess you could say that my first day as a thirty-one-year old was a day that I tried to balance Selfish Erin with Selfless Erin. I definitely didn’t find a balance. I’m not sure I will find it tomorrow, next week, or next month. I might not even figure out how to find the balance before I turn thirty-two. Being selfless is important as a mother and a wife and a good human, but it’s not healthy to be 100% selfless. It’s healthy to be selfish in the sense that I’m taking care of myself and putting my needs first (and sometimes my wants, too).

I don’t think I have it all figured out just yet, but I do know that I like where I’m heading. I’m surrounded by the best people in the world. I have a husband I love who makes sure that all of my needs are met and helps keep our household healthy and happy. I have two beautiful, wonderful children who fill my days with endless joy. I am in awe of them.

So turning 31 went well overall. I look forward to this new phase of my life I’m entering.

In twenty weeks, I will turn 30 years old, and enter a new decade of my life.

I’m actually pretty excited by this. I’ve never had the turning-30 fear that most of my friends have experienced. It doesn’t stress me out or make me feel old. In my world, the first 25 years were about figuring out who I am, and since then, things have just gotten better and better. I feel like I’m going into my thirties with a great grasp of who I am, where I am in life, and who and where I want to be.

But the closer I get to 30, the more I want to create an awesome ending to my twenties.

Seeing as how I’m at my 20 week mark, I figured now would be a good time to celebrate the end of my twenties. Over the next twenty weeks, I’m going to do a weekly post celebrating my twenties. For each of the first ten posts, I’ll be focusing on each year of my 20s. From there, I’ll post about the most memorable moments of this past decade.

And then… I’ll be 30, and starting a brand new chapter.

Last year I wrote a post on who I was at 28. I just reread the post, and most of it still rings true. For the second year in a row, I still have brown hair. I still no longer need glasses. I still wear my Pandora bracelet from Mr. O, and I still do too many projects at work at once. I still have scars. I still carry around a purse filled with various items, although there are no cough drops in there this year, which I consider a win. It is so interesting in how much has changed in the past year, while at the same time, how very little has changed as well.

This morning, a friend accidentally posted, “Happy New Year!” on my Facebook wall. I thought to myself, as I was laying in bed reading my early morning birthday messages, “What an interesting, yet appropriate, way to say happy birthday to someone.” Then my friend deleted the post from my wall and sent me a message to say that it was meant for her wall, and wished me a happy birthday. I was confused. Later, I looked at my work calendar and realized today is Rosh Hashanah and my friend is Jewish. So the Facebook slip up made much more sense. The whole post really got me thinking. For me–and for those of the Jewish faith–today is the beginning of a new year. I think from now on, when I think of birthdays, I’m going to realize they are ripe with possibility. I’m going to wish my friends a happy new year of their lives.

So far, my favorite parts of the day have been: 1) Getting a birthday text message from my best friend and then getting the same exact message sent to me on Facebook. When I called her out on a “copy and paste” she told me she typed the same thing out twice, and it isn’t official until its Facebook official! 2) Birthday coupons! Yes, CVS, I will take those extra coupons off your hand. You know you’re getting old when you get real excited about birthday coupons. 3) Youth football practice. 4) My homemade birthday cards from Mr. O and Wolverine. Overall, it was a really nice day.

Welcome, 29. Let’s do this.

This picture was borrowed with permission from the lovely Sarah at Sunny Side Up. Head over and wish her a happy birthday, too!

I’ve been looking forward to turning twenty-eight (in a very, “oh, wow… my birthday is already in three days? Wow, really?” kind of way).

I didn’t care too much for twenty-seven. Don’t get me wrong, some incredible things happened while I was twenty-seven. I died my hair brown, got laser eye surgery (I can see!), finished my thesis, graduated from the best MFA in creative writing program in the whole world, and started a literary journal (to name just a few things). In fact, it was a really nice year. So I guess I should rephrase: Twenty-seven was a really good year, but I think that twenty-eight will be a great year.

My birthday got off to a good start. I woke up on the side of the most handsome man in the world. There were already two birthday messages (and one of them had a picture of my friend’s baby attached) in my inbox. On my ride to work I got a few more birthday text messages. Around 9:00am, I received a phone call from my mom. When I picked up, my parents were singing Happy Birthday. A couple of coworkers had given me cards and a gift. I received not one, but two birthday emails from the dealership I bought my SUV at a year and a half ago (talk about service with a smile). By 11:30am, I had over 60 Facebook birthday messages and a handful on Twitter. By 12:00pm, there was a new submission in Spry’s submission manager.

You can’t tell me that isn’t a great start to the day…because it so is.

As the day went on I got more and more birthday messages on Facebook and Twitter. Spry got two donations and more submissions than I even wished for. I got out of a work meeting somewhat quickly and actually left work on time. My drive home was safe (there was a huge storm in this area with lots of flooding)*. Both Mr. O and my parents got me flowers for my birthday. I ate Pho, my favorite meal, for dinner. I spent a nice evening at home with my love and finished it off with some ice cream cake. In fact, not only did I get one mini-ice cream cake, but my mother dropped off a second!

Two morning texts, two cards at work, two emails from the car dealership, two bouquets of flowers, two donations, two mini ice cream cakes. Maybe this will be my year of the two’s?

Basically, I had a nice and relaxing day. The best gift (besides time with the guy I love) was seeing the submissions and donations come in to Spry. It is tough to start a new venture, and I’m real appreciative of everyone’s support.

So, twenty-eight. It’s been nice so far. Looking forward to tomorrow.

*I usually get hurricanes on my birthday which always spoil my birthday plans with friends. This year I’ll take flooding (which gratefully didn’t bother me) over a hurricane.