perception

‘We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are’
– Anais Nin

I’ve had the quote in my draft folder, but never really got around to blogging about how I feel about it. Isn’t it so true? This can be related to pretty much anything in life: divorce, religion, friendships, books, whatever. I’ve been reading my first book of the semester:  Bill Roorbach’s Writing Life Stories, and I think this quote really sums up my new attitude on nonfiction writing.

I worry all the time about my writing. I worry that I’m not good enough, that I’m just sneaking by on a little bit of talent and a super cheery disposition. I worry that my memory will fault me, that somehow I will misrepresent some facts, in turn upsetting someone. I worry so much about the “Truth” and perception, but I think its about time to put that worry in a box for a little while.

Worrying actually does help me. It forces me to be true to my own story. If I didn’t worry about trying to be honest, then I would be quite concerned about the story I was producing. But instead of letting worry stifle me, how about just accepting it?

It is impossible not to be influenced by your own perception of events as a writer. We all absorb our own lives and the events shape us into the product we are today. The water that enters a sponge is forever changed after you ring it dry.

Wow, this was in my draft folder. I’m guessing I started it early January, since I mentioned reading “my first craft book of the semester”. I don’t remember even writing this…must have been one night on the pain killers for my foot…just kidding. I like it though. I like it a lot. Why can’t I just trust in the process when I am not on Ender’s Island?