This post “Losing My Last Name” originally appeared on May 22, 2014 at The Hooray Collective. Go over there to see the incredible work they are doing.
In 23 days I am getting married.
The next time you hear from me, I will go by a different name. While my first and middle name will remain the same, my last name will have changed. Iâ€™ll have a new driverâ€™s license (with brown hair, not blonde like my current license) and a new last name. Once I become Mrs. O, Iâ€™ll now fall in the middle of the alphabet, and Iâ€™ll have to listen for a new name to be called when I pick up prescriptions.
And I consider this a very beautiful thing.
Iâ€™m looking forward to sharing a last name with the man I love. I look forward to sharing my step-sonâ€™s last name with him as well.
Iâ€™ll miss my last name.
Iâ€™ll miss the connection it gives me to my parents and my brothers and my nieces and nephews. Iâ€™ll miss the connection it gives me to my grandmother and grandfather who are no longer with us. I recognize myself as Miss C. Soon, I wonâ€™t be her any longer.
Iâ€™ve always wanted to change my last name when I got married so that Iâ€™d share a name with my husband. So this was an easy decision for me. I just didnâ€™t expect to feel so nostalgic about my current last name. I toyed with keeping it as a middle name, but what would I do with my current middle name? In the end, I chose to just switch last names, and say goodbye to my maiden name.
I canâ€™t be the only person who has experienced this nostalgia before. How did you all feel when you changed your name?
I was a little nostalgic when I changed my last name but at the same time, I fully embraced my new one. It was a weird transition but a welcomed one. Hopefully one day one of my children can have my maiden name as a middle name and even then, I still feel connected to that name as it will always be a part of me.
I guess that is a good way to describe how I feel: nostalgic. I’m so excited to share Mr. O’s last name (Call me Mrs. O from now on haha) but I guess it is just something that takes getting used to! I’m glad you felt the same.
Most people are surprised that I would want to keep my last name. Considering it is one that can easily be made fun of, it’s still a part of my identity. And since Ryan and I are an interracial couple, I feel a little weird attaching a non-Asian name to my own.
Very valid points, Suki! I don’t know why people have such strong opinions about other people’s decisions. I totally understand why you’d want to keep your own name! Thanks for stopping by 🙂
Erin, I think it’s completely understandable that you’d be nostalgic about your name – it’s all you’ve ever known! I was more ambivalent than you about changing my name, but it’s worked out fine — even if I still answer to my maiden, my married and everything in between. 🙂 I wrote about it here: http://astorybooklife.wordpress.com/2012/06/07/whats-in-a-name/. Good luck with the transition!
Michele- I LOVE your blog. Thanks for finding me!