To My Future Husband: I’m No Longer The Girlfriend

Hello love,

Here we are in a new stage of our relationship. It’s temporary, a middle ground between two different points in our life. We were once boyfriend and girlfriend. We will soon be husband and wife. For now though, we are fiance and fiancée. We are in this very short transitional period in our relationship, and I don’t know what to do with it.

I find myself  still introducing you as my “boyfriend.” When we were first engaged, I tried to fit the term “fiance” into conversations. I loved the idea of calling you my fiance; I wanted the world to know we had changed paths and were moving forward in a different direction. But when I hear myself say it out loud, I felt silly. I felt as if I should be saying it with an accent, and only when saying something extremely important.

And that–feeling silly calling you by your new term–is silly in its own regard.

There are only eight months (and one day) from the date of our engagement to the date of the wedding. It’s a short precious time, and I want to own our new fleeting status. As of today, there are only 54 days until we change titles again. We will move from fiance and fiancée to husband and wife, and that is where I hope we will remain forever.

So from this day forward, I commit to pushing past my title fear and calling you my fiance. You are no longer my boyfriend. That was a beautiful time in our lives that I will forever be grateful for, but that time has passed. For now, ever how brief, you are my wonderful fiance.

With my greatest love,

Your fiancée


To My Future Husband: The Proposal

Dearest Future Husband,

I wanted to take a moment out of the whirl that has been wedding planning to thank you.

Growing up, I never thought too much about my wedding, but I did wonder about the proposal. In the new world of social media, we see elaborate wedding proposals all of the time. There are flash mobs singing to a future bride. There are staged dance routines. A boyfriend creates a proposal video and airs it in the local movie theater under the guise they are watching a real film. I’m a sucker for love, and every single one of these got me.

But, I’ve wondered: how would our proposal happen?

Well, I no longer have to wonder. You created the most beautiful, most us wedding proposal. I couldn’t have dreamed up a better, more personal way to do it. It was surprising and heartfelt and funny and it honored the both of us. That is what I loved most. The fact that the proposal wasn’t all about me. It wasn’t all about you. It honored the both of us.

I cannot articulate how happy I am to one day be your wife. I love you.

Thank you so much for the perfect proposal.

With all my love,

Your Future Wife

To My Future Husband: Let’s Never Get Divorced

Dear Future Husband,

I’d really like for us to stay together forever. I think it’s best to put this intention out there now–before we are married–because truth be told, I like you a lot, and I’d really like you to stick around.

Recently there has been some trouble in relationships of people we know. For me, it’s been very hard to watch people I care about go through a difficult time. I don’t care how many disagreements happen or mean things are said to each other or how much build up leads to a breaking point; choosing to end a long-term relationship or a marriage must be an extremely hard decision. It’s a decision I never want us to be confronted with.

I’m sure most people go into a marriage thinking that it won’t end, but we know that isn’t always the case. Some marriages do end. Sometimes hearts and vows get broken and a relationship disintegrates. I really don’t want that to happen to us. If it hurts me this much to see the people I care about struggle, I don’t want to know how it would feel if we were faced with this decision. All I know is that it could happen, and I am willing to do everything I can to try to make it never happen.

So let’s try hard…really, really hard to work on our relationship, to always give it the attention it deserves. Because, well, I love you, and I want to be with you forever.

Love always,

Your Future Wife

To My Future Husband: Things I Don’t Take For Granted

Dear Future Husband,

I have a tendency to get caught up in the everyday. I worry about household chores when I could be relaxing with you. I obsess over work instead of falling asleep peacefully. I make to-do lists in my head while eating dinner. I am an observant, appreciative person, but sometimes I am not very mindful.

I know sometimes it seems as if my mind is elsewhere. I know sometimes I may seem rushed. I just never want you to feel as if I take anything in our life for granted.

I might not always show it, but there is so much in our lives that I am grateful for. I relish the tiny ordinary moments. I love when I wake up in the middle of the night and hear your breathing wax and wane, to feel you near me. I love that you are a man of action; that you usually beat me to a sink full of dishes and ignore me when I request you leave them and let me finish. I love watching you smile when something funny happens on a tv show or a movie we like. I love seeing you play outside with the kids. I love how well you clean up the bathroom after shaving or cutting your hair. I love that you give me a hug and a kiss before you leave the house every day.

I want you to know that I might not always say it or show it, but I always recognize the greatness in you.

Thank you for being my partner in life.
Love always,
Your Future Wife

To My Future Husband: Changing My Last Name

Hello Love,

I’ll admit it. Sometimes I doodle my first name with your last name in my journal. It’s true.

I’d like to think of myself as a feminist, and I know the subject of name changing is quite controversial. In fact, my friends Renee and A.J. actually wrote excellent posts on why they did and did not change their names when they married their spouses. But here is my take on the subject, as a feminist and a woman we all have equal rights to make major decisions in our personal lives. We aren’t mandated to make certain choices, and we all should be making the best decisions for our own persons.

This is all a preface to say that I can’t wait until we share the same last name.

I’ve already decided to take your name when we get married. I didn’t take this decision lightly. I’ve always been proud of my name, proud of my whole family. To all of a sudden be the ONLY person in my immediate family with a different last name is kind of sad in a way. I won’t be happy to discard it - in fact, maybe I will even incorporate it into my middle name – but I do know that I will be happy to embrace your last name.

Mrs. O…Mr. and Mrs. O….Oh, I just can’t wait.

I can’t wait for the moments when we first get married when I’m standing in line at the pharmacy or an appointment and someone calls me by my married name. I can’t wait until I can write it everywhere, not just in my little journal. I can’t wait until you are my Mr. and I am your Mrs.

With all my love,
Your future Mrs.