Dear Future Husband,
This isn’t the first letter I’ve written to you. This may be the first one I’m sharing with you (and others), but I want you to know I’ve been thinking of you for some time now. Years ago I tried to imagine what you’d look like, the things we’d do, the places we’d go. I wrote to you in my head; I wrote to you on paper. I wanted you to know me- the single me, the me before you, the me before we became an “us”. I thought that was important. In some ways, I suppose it is. In other ways, I think the people we are before we become an “us” is irrelevant. By irrelevant, I do not mean unimportant, because the people we were and the choices that we made, both good and bad, are what brought us to each other. I understand now that the important factor is the person I am now, the person I will be in the future.
Writing this letter now that I know who you are (or at least I hope it’s you) feels slightly awkward. I tried to write a letter to my future husband pretending I had no clue who he was, but the letter was generic and impersonal. I tried to write the letter to you pretending we were already married, but seeing as I’m writing to my future husband, it ended up making little to no sense. So I’m here, writing to you, Mr. O, with the assumption that one day you will be my husband.
That word-Â husband -makes my heart swell.
You are the realist. I am theÂ positivity-ist. But I’m going to jump in your shoes for a second. As much as my rose-colored glasses would want to believe, I know that marriage won’t always be easy. I know we will have our ups and downs and our perfect moments and our trying moments. I know that throughout our life together we will be faced with situations we might not have faced before. I know there will be situations where we might not like decisions or actions the other person chooses. I can accept this. I figure instead of being anxious about it, I might as well embrace it.
And while I can acknowledge these things, I want you to know the most important thing I know for sure. I know that no matter what happens in our life, I will always aim to be the kindest wife, best friend, most caring partner possible. I can’t promise you that I will always be kind. I can’t promise you that I will always be patient. I can’t promise you that I’ll never sulk. I can’t promise you that I’ll never say things I don’t truly mean.
I can promise you that I will try with every ounce of my being to be the best partner I can be for you. I can promise you that I will always tryÂ to put my love for you before any other emotion. I can promise you to always put our family first.
We might not be married yet; we might not evenÂ be engaged to be married yet, but I want you to know thatÂ no matter what our future has in store for us, I will show up every day ready to take on our life together.
I love you with all of my heart,
Your future wife