A Letter to My Future Husband

Dear Future Husband,

This isn’t the first letter I’ve written to you. This may be the first one I’m sharing with you (and others), but I want you to know I’ve been thinking of you for some time now. Years ago I tried to imagine what you’d look like, the things we’d do, the places we’d go. I wrote to you in my head; I wrote to you on paper. I wanted you to know me- the single me, the me before you, the me before we became an “us”. I thought that was important. In some ways, I suppose it is. In other ways, I think the people we are before we become an “us” is irrelevant. By irrelevant, I do not mean unimportant, because the people we were and the choices that we made, both good and bad, are what brought us to each other. I understand now that the important factor is the person I am now, the person I will be in the future.

Writing this letter now that I know who you are (or at least I hope it’s you) feels slightly awkward. I tried to write a letter to my future husband pretending I had no clue who he was, but the letter was generic and impersonal. I tried to write the letter to you pretending we were already married, but seeing as I’m writing to my future husband, it ended up making little to no sense. So I’m here, writing to you, Mr. O, with the assumption that one day you will be my husband.

That word- husband -makes my heart swell.

You are the realist. I am the positivity-ist. But I’m going to jump in your shoes for a second. As much as my rose-colored glasses would want to believe, I know that marriage won’t always be easy. I know we will have our ups and downs and our perfect moments and our trying moments. I know that throughout our life together we will be faced with situations we might not have faced before. I know there will be situations where we might not like decisions or actions the other person chooses. I can accept this. I figure instead of being anxious about it, I might as well embrace it.

And while I can acknowledge these things, I want you to know the most important thing I know for sure. I know that no matter what happens in our life, I will always aim to be the kindest wife, best friend, most caring partner possible. I can’t promise you that I will always be kind. I can’t promise you that I will always be patient. I can’t promise you that I’ll never sulk. I can’t promise you that I’ll never say things I don’t truly mean.

I can promise you that I will try with every ounce of my being to be the best partner I can be for you. I can promise you that I will always try to put my love for you before any other emotion. I can promise you to always put our family first.

We might not be married yet; we might not even be engaged to be married yet, but I want you to know that no matter what our future has in store for us, I will show up every day ready to take on our life together.

I love you with all of my heart,
Your future wife


Did you know it is “Write a Letter to Your Future Spouse Week”? Well, according to Peter, it is. So this post was inspired by the holiday week, and Peter’s own letters to his future wife.

(The second letter I wrote to my future husband can be found here and the third letter I wrote to him is here)


  1. Peter says:

    I love it. And I’m excited you took the challenge.

    I wondered about how to handle my future wife letters once I met Ashley. I finally just settled on writing them with her in mind. I think it is a good sign that that hasn’t changed the tone of them at all.

    • erin says:

      Thanks for coming over to read the post Peter. I’ve wondered in the past about your future wife letters and how your relationship with Ahsley has influed your writing of them. I was having such a hard time with this . When I tried to write it to a mysterious future husband I thought I was trying to avoid personalizing it, so that didn’t work. So I just tried to write it with Mr. O in mind. I mean, it still isn’t 100% personalized, but I think that is okay for this letter. Hopefully I will write more that I can share on here that have specific details, but for this letter, I liked the tone and just went with it.

  2. Bekah says:

    How very sweet & real. I feel like a lot of this would come out of my mouth, so I obviously connected with it a lot. I haven’t written mine yet- hopefully I’ll find the right frame of mind to sit down & do it. Lovely, thanks for posting 🙂

  3. Tsok says:

    I was just thinking that If I ever can write such kind of letter and then I have found yours. It sounds more charming & trustful.

    Loved it.

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