Wow, NaBloPoMo simply kills my energy to post in the following month. I did a pretty good job posting every day last month, and I’ve fallen off the bandwagon this month.

Some things:

I finished my holiday/birthday shopping before my brother’s birthday (December 13th Happy Birthday, Bro!). This is a reoccurring yearly goal in my 101 in 1001 goals challenge, and I succeeded!

I am deeply saddened about the shootings in Newtown, CT. It has closely touched some of my fellow MFAer’s lives, as many are from the area, and I simply don’t know what to say about it.

I have no clue what I am doing for New Year’s Eve. Part of me wants to go out; the other part of me wants to stay home. Which part will win?

I desperately need to post the past two months of 365 photos on the blog. Maybe tomorrow?

My to-do list is rather long.

I guess I am doing a pretty good job though of following my monthly goal of just living in the moment. I’ve been busy, but life has been pretty good.

I kind of kicked ass on my November goal to blog every day of the month and in doing so, write about things I’m grateful for. You can check it all out on the blog by reading the previous posts or just clicking on the NaBloPoMo category.

My goal for December is to be present and at the same time make shit happen. Yup.

December is always a busy month for me. I have so many family and close friend’s birthdays, the holidays and all the get-togethers that come along with the holidays, regular work stuff, decorating, normal family time, Elf on the Shelf fun, shopping, etc. I used to also have a MFA residency to prepare for. Since I’ve graduated, I don’t have to worry about this anymore, though I do have two (or more) planned trips to CT to visit the residency. It’s not easy to get rid of me! You think that losing the residency would help me be more calm and relaxed this month, but Spry, my new literary journal, is publishing its first issue on the 15th and I am struggling through edits and website stuff to pull this all off.

I love this month. I really do. I  know I can’t add any crazy goals to accomplish, so I’d rather just sit back, work really hard at accomplishing my normal December goals and be present, calm and relaxed through the whole experience. Let’s see if I can pull it off.

Today is my fifth anniversary. Five years ago today I quit smoking, which is something I never thought possible. Five year ago today, I didn’t think I would be sitting here with a true nonsmoker status. I wasn’t sure I’d make a few days, a week, a month, a year, nevermind five whole years. But I have, and I think that is extremely special. I’m not sure what to say about it this year. Five years seems so significant, and I don’t know what to say. But I document it every year; see, last year I documented my fourth anniversary…

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I don’t know what is wrong with me, but I’ve decided to take a go at NaBloPoMo again. November is the official month and many of my blogging friends are participating as well. I’m going to try focusing in on gratitude this month. A few years ago on my old blog, I took part in Grace In Small Things, which is a 365 day project where you list what you are grateful for every day of that year. Now, I loved this project and think that the month of November is a perfect time to try to resurrect a more grateful nature. If all goes well, you’ll get thirty days of gratitude on the blog.

 I think my monthly goal and NaBloPoMo will nicely compliment each other this month. Are you wondering how my goal to organize for the month of October worked? Ehh, I did try. There were many organizational projects I tackled. I just don’t see the type of results I wanted. My plate is pretty full right now with work and Spry and family and life in general, so I do need to cut myself a little slack. October was a decent month for my organizational goal; it wasn’t a failure, but it also wasn’t a huge win. I guess you guys will see first hand how well I do in November!

So to start my first November NaBloPoMo post off: I’m so thankful that I quit smoking five years ago on that drizzly, chilly November morning. I’m so glad that while the Chantix I took literally made me crazy, it also helped me quit smoking. I am beyond grateful that I got off the Chantix as quickly as I did and I didn’t end up too far in the deep end. I’m so happy to have the people in my life who supported me through that tough time in my life.

I’m also so thankful and proud of myself. Good for you, Erin. You loved smoking so much. Cigarettes were your friend, your confidant, your support. Good for you for ending that toxic relationship. You have a strong will, and I usually don’t give you enough credit for your strength, but you deserve a huge hug and a pat on the back. Yes, the Chantix helped. Yes,  you had a pretty good support system. But no matter what, you did this all yourself. Every day in the past one thousand eight hundred and twenty-seven days, you have made the conscious decision not to pick up a cigarette. How cool is that? Good job, Erin. Good job.

I’ll have to say, I did a great job with my goal for September. I’m very happy with the progress I’ve made on the literary journal this month.

When I started this 12 months’ challenge, I hopped on the bandwagon a bit late. I didn’t really take the time to plan things out or question what I wanted to accomplish in 2012. I saw a lot of people who set concrete goals for themselves, and knew exactly what they planned on accomplishing in each month. I personally thought that was an impractical approach, just because plans change, life changes, things don’t always work out the way you expect them to. However, as I get deeper into 2012, I do wish that I had set up a more concrete approach to my goals. If I choose to do this again in 2013, which I probably will, I’d like to go into the year with a plan. I think what I will do is set up a list of 12-24 goals that I’d truly like to work on and then just pick a new one every month. In 2012, sometimes I had no clue what I would choose as a goal for the month, and before I decided I already wasted 7 days of the month. Sometimes I knew what my goal would be for the following month, but when the time came to focus in on the goal, I was disinterested. If I’m going to make these goals work for me, I’d like to at least enjoy them. So in 2013, I’d like to be better prepared. That’s it.

Which leads me to announcing my October goal. This month I would like to work on organization. I truly need to be organized to live. I will fail at home and work and everything else if things aren’t organized in some way. I need an agenda or things won’t get done. I need a process at work or things won’t get done. I need a system at home or things won’t get done. Basically, I’m doing okay in general, but I feel a steady anxiety lately, because there is so much to do and remember. So I know when I get like this, I need to take a step back and simply put things in order. I desperately need to do this at work and with Spry, because there is just so much happening at once for both of those commitments. At home, I just need to portion time to organize. I need to find a way to make it less of a chore and more of an activity. Wish me luck.

Let’s talk first about my new goal for August: write every day. I’ve already attempted this goal in 2012. My results were so-so. I wrote a good portion of the month, but there were a handful (or two handfuls) when no writing happened. I think now is a very important time for me to focus on daily writing. I just graduated last month, and I don’t want my output to slow down. I don’t even care what it is that I write. I think I’m going to try journaling more than essay writing in all honesty.

Are you wondering how I did with my July goal? Not very good at all. If you don’t remember, my goal for July was to try to be fully present. It was a very eventful month, and I wanted to enjoy and experience the moment. I definitely did enjoy my experiences. I had a fantastic month. It was just ridiculously hard to live in the moment. When I’m busy my brain tends to be in at least ten places at once. So from July 1-13, my brain was all over the place. Then school was great (July 13-23), but again, my brain was functioning in a different way compared to how it normally works, and for most of the residency, I was very stressed and concerned for my dad. Plus, I had so many responsibilities to prepare for graduation, it was more of me obsessing over details versus relishing in the overall experience. When I got home, I went through my normal P.R.T.B. (post-residency transitional blues). It was very hard to get back into the swing of things at work and at home. Plus, there was a lot of stuff to do when I got back, and events that had been planned, so it was just like jumping from one thing to the next. So enough with the excuses. I did try throughout the month, and I am pleased with my mini successes.

Here is to August!

I’m proud to say I did a very good job with my May goals. I wanted to spend the month of May being a better blogger, and I think I accomplished what I set out to do. I didn’t blog every day or anything like that, but I did comment on other blogs almost every day. And I also found new blogs to read. And that, my friends was what I was really aiming to do with this goal.

So June’s goal is a bit super secret. (Ha, I just like saying super secret, it really isn’t THAT secret)

I’m starting a business with a friend and while we have been plotting and scheming for a month or so now, I want to dedicate June to making this happen. I promise to tell you guys all about it soon.

So remember how I am graduating next month?!?! Wild, huh? I guarantee my blogging from now until then will be spare, so I’ve decided to add another regular series to this blog. While I’m busy, I’m going to be posting old posts from back in the day when I wasn’t self-hosted (and when I wasn’t even Reinventing Erin!) I’ve recently stumbled through some and they’re kinda funny so I thought I’d share.