Today felt never-ending. I couldn’t do anything correct at work. I’d get up from my desk on one side of my office, walk all the way over to the water-cooler to fill up my drink container only to realize that I left it at my desk. No big deal, right? Right. Except when you do it 3-4 times throughout the day! It’s a brand new insulated container, and I really like it. Well, I proceeded to break it after I dropped it when I got home tonight. Goodbye new water container.
My brain has been so cloudy today. I just can’t seem to concentrate, and I also cannot lasso the necessary words into the sentences I wanted them to be. I can’t tell you how many things I rewrote over and over and over again at work today. That happens sometimes when you work in a creative field. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, and it happens to everyone, but it is never any fun. I just felt so stunted today. Besides the water, I got up searching for pens, only to realize they were on the same table I was working from previously. My computer shut down while I was working because I didn’t notice the low battery note while I was working. It is simply just one of those days.
It also was a pretty bad self-talk day. As you can imagine, with all of my numb-brained forgetfulness, I judged myself pretty harshly. Get it together, Erin! I’d think or worse. If one of my writing friends of clients beat themselves up the way I did today, I’d tell them they need to go easy on themselves. Days like this happen, and sometimes you just need to go with the flow. Be kind to yourself. Beating yourself up won’t help in any way. It will just make things worse.
Why am I telling you all of this? Well, it’s life. I tend to share the better parts of my days: fun moments with Wolverine, loving thoughts for Mr. O. I write about celebrations, vacations, achievements, activities. I very seldom write about the tough days. I want to be authentic. Just like my word of the year “be”: I want to be an honest, authentic Erin.
The other reason I’m sharing all of this is because in my rational brain, I know that there is nothing for me to be upset about. Today is any ordinary, normal day. I got through a relatively good amount of work, and I even had a last-minute client meeting with someone I really enjoy talking to. We all have days like this, right? Days when nothing seems to be going right. Days when you can’t seem to do anything correct. They pass. They always do. The best part of all of this is that I kept going. Yes, I beat myself up a little, and that was unnecessary, but I kept trudging through my workday. I finished what I wanted to have completed, and I’m proud of myself.
I ended up coming home and having a great meal with my husband. I’m telling you, pho can make anything and everything better. My evening was great. I was able to relax and just have a wonderful night. I’m so very grateful.
I guess that’s the final reason I decided to share this story today. You might have a horrible, no good, awful day, but still end up having an incredible evening. Life changes quickly. I’ll tell you at one point today, when I was really feeling bad for myself, I thought it was such a waste of a day. I honestly wished that I could just hide in my bed under the covers and not come out until the day was over. And then everything changed. I didn’t think it could, but it did.
Sometimes, you just need to be kind to yourself, trudge through the hard stuff, and things get better.