So… today is the day.
I’ve been thinking all week about what I would write in this post. My thoughts have been very preoccupied.
I got my first pair of glasses–ones I desperately wanted– in seventh grade. They were gold frames. The eye pieces were lined in a teal green, and the end pieces were pink (I’ll take a photo and post on here, because I think I still have them). I thought I was special because I needed glasses. This was about 15 years ago.
I’ve spend the last 15 years of my life alternating between contacts and glasses. I’ve had frames of all different shapes and sizes. I like glasses sometimes, especially fun ones like the Drew Carey frames, etc.
I like them as an accessory. I don’t like them as a necessity.
I don’t like having to wake up and put them on before I can see the time on my clock which is just a few feet away from me in the morning. I don’t like laying down and tryign to watch the television, but needing to adjust my glasses every time I move. I don’t like the fact that I absolutely 100% rely on glasses to drive. I don’t like not being able to see in the shower or while I’m swimming. I especially don’t like the fact that I can’t wear sunglasses when I have my glasses on.
I did well with contacts for a while. I just hate having to take them out and put them in every single day. Plus, even with them, there are still times I can’t see, like I mentioned in the previous paragraph. I can’t wear them to bed, and therefore I can’t see when I first wake up. I can’t wear them in the shower. I can’t wear them when I swim. I seem to lose contacts quite frequently. Sometimes I lose them when putting them in or taking them out. Sometimes I simply can’t find the case.
It’s been 15 years since I first got- and desperately wanted- glasses. 15 years and who knows how much money spent toward my vision. 15 years being completely reliant on something to help me do the most basic things in my life.
Today that will (hopefully) all change. Today I am getting LASIK eye surgery. Today I will hopefully be able to see on my own.
I’m very positive about this, but I’m also very anxious. What if something goes wrong? What if something goes horribly, horribly wrong? How will I write in my blog? How will I write for school? How will I work? How will I drive? How will I live my life? Is today the last day I’ll ever see Mr. O and Wolverine’s faces? Will I never see my friends and family again?
In 2008, I went to Dialogue in the Dark in Atlanta, GA. It was one of the most incredible experiences in my life. I was blinded and led through an obstacle-like course of similar life experiences so that I could see what it was like to be blind. It was amazing. I can’t articulate my experience, but it was truly incredible, and I know that no matter what, if anything happened to me, I would be absolutely fine.
I’m just scared.